I wish there was a café nearby that breeds art at the rate of rabbits
A place with energy and passion not locked up by class
With books and ideas and warm drinks and people
Music and performing and community boards
and lighting and red drapes
The hum of creative vibration
Not worrying about longevity
No fear of mistakes
Never too precious for temporary art
Could the stars align just a little more each night-Could they light the road to this place
I don't want to own it
But I want to be a part of it
I am cooking up a whopper of a journal post about our recent Disneyland trip and my brother's wedding. That's on the horizon! But before I post about our wacky vacation week, I wanted to address some changes going on.
My social accounts are changing from SailorTweek to GrunkleMary.
Why the change? Well, I've been using SailorTweek for over 20 years at this point. Can you believe that we can actually say that about online usernames? SailorTweek still holds serious sentimental value for me, but I wanted to move on to something that felt more meaningful and reflects who I feel that I am.
At RTX, some of the Guardians like to refer to me as "Mom". I understand the gesture, but I loathe being called "Mom" by crews I manage. I'm not a Mom. I might be a manager, leader, and mentor...but I am not anyone's Mom. I would rather be a teammate than "Mom".
That's all not to say that a Mom is not a teammate or a mentor or a leader or anything like that. It's more along the lines of I'm not here to clean up your messes or tuck you in or to patronize you. I'm here to run a show crew and learn along with everyone. I'm here to strategize with teams. I'm a "do no harm, but take no shit" kind of gal. If you are causing shit, I'm not usually in the position to be able to sit down with you and Sesame Street my way into explaining why the choices you made were not the best of choices. (To a certain extent, of course. Teachable moments are wonderful!) I would rather be the cool aunt...which was something I never had.
So...why GrunkleMary? Wouldn't it be GRANTYMary?
Well, Gravity Falls is a genuine gift to animation and family-oriented mystery/suspense/sci-fi media. Like an animated Eerie Indiana meets Are Your Afraid of the Dark meets Goosebumps meets Scooby Doo Mystery Inc.
The stories are great, the overall arch is great, and it is all contained in 2 seasons. Mable and Grunkle Stan resonate with me on kindred spirit levels. Mable for obvious reasons - rainbows, infinite creativity, helpful, somehow realistic AND impossibly optimistic at the same time without being a Facebook toxic positivity thread. Grunkle Stan is a con artist with a heart of gold. His character progression doesn't mimic my own, but there's something about his growth that gives me hope for my personal mental health journey. I want to be a good "adult" without losing whimsy. I want to hold back my tears during the sad parts of movies, but I wanna cheer my damn head off when the entire MCU shows up to kick Thanos in prune-like face.
That and GrantyMary sounds...ugh...like PANTY. Sheesh. No thanks. GrunkleMary also incorporates my actual name and makes me feel less anonymous.
What does that mean for this site? I don't know if I will change the site name quite yet. It's easier to change socials than it is to rebrand an entire - albeit small - website. That and so much is tied to SailorTweek right now and it is going to be difficult to get used to the changes. Oh, hell...who knows what the best course of action is for this. *LOL* If I were an actual BRAND, I'd have a PR team to worry about that!
SailorTweek is not dead. I still have shirts and custom made things. My name on Rooster Teeth is still SailorTweek so as not to create RTX-centric confusion.
GrunkleMary on the following:
SailorTweek on the following
Twitch - this will be the next project for me to work on and will involve physical effort!
In an effort to make the mental health journey a little less bumpy, I have been journaling...a lot.
But it's all been private. And although that helps me immensely, it has the unintended side effect of not posting my thoughts here...on the site that I worked REALLY hard on to get up and the way I like it...and pay for with real American dollars...so...let's post more!
I'm not going to write a play-by-play recap of the last few months, but I do want to touch on some highlights because they affect how the next few weeks are going to go for me.
After two years of being an online show, RTX 2022 is on and we are 95% sure that it will be back in person! Although I'm not ready to go a convention quite yet, I really am looking forward to seeing the Austin Convention Center packed with the Rooster Teeth Community again. I'm not a fan of Texas, but I sure do miss Austin and all of my friends who reside there. It's a genuine thrill to be back leading the RTX Guardians. I miss this show so much and am very eager for the physical embrace of our community. Masked up, of course.
LightBox Expo also has plans to be an in-person event in October and I am slated to lead that tam as well! I am very excited to head back to Pasadena and work for such a dynamic industry show.
And I have to brag, here. Volunteer management is a lot like riding a bike - you never really forget how to do it.
And I bought a bike...and I still know how to ride it!
Back in July, Chris took me to Disneyland for my birthday. This was back when COVID numbers were down and before Delta reared it's ugly head. We brought Dan and Corey with us and had an absolute blast. You all know how much I love Disneyland, but I have never been enthusiastic with the idea of going to the parks in the Summer. I've been comfortable writing my birthday off as "never ever going to spent at Disneyland". What changed? Well, Disney had implemented their reservation system to keep crowds down to a minimum. Even in the middle of July with no FastPass, wait times were 30 minutes or less for most attractions. It was AMAZING FUN. We didn't min/max our trip. We just went with the flow and whatever our desires were. It was a great vacation in the middle of the world chaos. It was a terrific birthday among trauma and uncertainty. It was heaven.
Except my feet were super pissed...but that's all on previous injuries and current disabilities. Could not be helped and there were NO REGRETS. I even skipped renting a wheelchair!
- which might have been a mistake, but I won't reject the idea this time around. I'm grateful that I haven't had to rent a wheelchair for every trip. 2018 was bad for that. I had to rent a wheelchair twice and I felt awful about it. Normally I consider myself "able bodied" and that my feet are just sore from walking and that's on me for somehow not wearing the right shoes or being out of shape...
But it really comes down to me feeling bad about taking a wheelchair from someone who "has it worse". Thank goodness for the insight and experience of my disabled friends. They reminded me that the tools are there for everyone with a disability to use regardless of "Why can I walk to Starbucks on a daily basis but walking 40 miles at a resort over the course of a weekend FUCKED ME UP". Stomp that stigma into the ground! I have arthritis and life long damage from high school PE injuries. I have to be honest about that. Just because that creepy PE teacher told me to "just walk it off" 25 years ago doesn't mean I have to take that shitty advice. I'm an adult with a disability that doesn't flair up everyday. I am allowed to rent that wheelchair when I need it.
I bring up Disneyland because - duh, I love Disneyland - we will be going again next week for Chris's birthday! All masked up and ready. I'm even picking outfits for the occasion that are not solely built on "Dear God how do I handle 90+ degree weather". That and there's something truly immersive about planning an outfit around the actual theme park. I'm not talk about just a Disneyland hoodie and call it good...I'm talking about wearing something that doesn't make me feel underdressed when I walk thru Batuu or Avenger's Campus or even Frontierland. I dress for comfort on these trips...above all else! But the weather is permitting that we can get a little fancy for this trip. I'm pretty sure that there will be photos on my Instagram feed showing off what I finally land on. Although...don't be surprised if I say FUCK IT and just wear whatever. This is supposed to be a vacation and a blissful escape.
After we get back from Disneyland, I will be on SUPER SISTER duty because
after years in the making
my brother - my only blood sibling - is getting married!
What a happy, positive, and MUCH NEEDED reason to celebrate! I am so excited and have cried maybe about 7 times in the last week over how thrilled I am about this! I'm a bridesmaid and my phone is constantly going off with alerts full of shenanigans. We were asked to bring our lightsabers. If you do not have a lightsaber, one will be provided for you.
I am writing a speech for my brother to present in front of everyone. I'm not much of a writer, but I am having a great time creating this. There's no weird insults or embarrassing stories because that is NOT how we roll here. With all the family drama and world trauma and stress of planning this whole thing, the LAST THING my brother needs/wants/deserves is mockery at his expense. Our family doesn't like that kind of thing...this is a time of support and love and connection. If we wanted vicious mockery, we'd roll bards.
So the next 2 weeks are going to be full of emotional flash floods, sore feet, and possible problematic family interference.
Masked up while wielding lightsabers.
I am very much looking forward to it. <3